Leadership and Self Deception [Book Notes]

Have you ever worked with someone you found incompetent or difficult? And have you ever felt a little strange or empty or maybe even jealous when that person does something right or receives accolades?

If so, why do you think you felt this way?

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe some part of you needs this person to be a screw up?

That in some strange way, you need them to fail, to justify some part of yourself?

In the book Leadership and Self Deception , this is called “the box.”

When we’re “in the box”, we don’t see the world clearly. Instead we filter what we see though a lens of self-preservation and self-justification.

Now, at this point you might be thinking something like “Stephen, you don’t get it, some of the people I have to work with really are dum-dums, complete jerks or are just impossible, and this has nothing to do with me or my perceptions - this is just reality.”

So, you may be totally correct. There are plenty of people out there that are just not great at their jobs. And it’s fine to think as much - it would be dishonest not to.

Where the trouble comes in is as soon as you need them to be bad to justify your own shortcomings, this is where the perception shifts. It’s fine to think someone is bad at their job - you may be right, and maybe it’s high time for this person to find a better fit - but, I’ve found in these cases, especially if you find yourself spending extra cycles thinking or stressing about them - it’s usually worth taking some time to do some introspection.

The thing to look out for here is when we use our dislike for them to validate ourselves or hide our own shortcomings, which is especially tempting when we’re on the same team working towards the same goal.

Why isn’t my team succeeding? Why didn’t we finish that sprint on time? Why didn’t we close that sale? Why aren’t we hitting our numbers? Why does everything feel like a disorganized mess? Why is taking us so long to complete X?

Oh, must be that person I don’t like.

This is the trap. This is the box. And it gets especially dangerous when we know that on some level we deserve some of the blame for the team’s problems. As soon as the rationalization becomes something like “Yeah, maybe I didn’t do so great, but this other person is the real reason we’re not succeeding”, that’s when the lie we tell ourselves becomes self-sustaining.

Our fates are now linked.

For me to remain good and blameless in my own eyes, the other has to be bad, they must be the real problem.

We become entangled with those we say we want nothing to do with.

This is the resistance, this is the box.

For me, in these situations I’ve found my red flag is that I feel resistance in the mundane. I find some part of myself wanting this person to be wrong on stuff that really just doesn’t matter.

And if I’m honest with myself, I’ll find some rather unpleasant answers to some pretty basic questions.

Am I trying to lift the team up or bring this person down in my thoughts and actions?

Do I really want this other person to succeed?

Am I behaving and acting and feeling in a way that will empower them to succeed? Or, is some part of me holding back?

Is some part of me resisting? If so, why am I resisting this person?

And of course, if I am feeling and acting in this way, this behavior will not go unnoticed. This is the final piece of the puzzle that makes this pattern so destructive, and a common way the pattern can spread and compound across a team or organization.

Our perceptions of others matter. People, even the ones we may not like, are not stupid. Leadership and Self Deception puts this really nicely:

“Given a little time, we can tell when we're being coped with, manipulated, or outsmarted. We can detect hypocrisy. We can feel the blame concealed beneath the veneers of niceness. And we typically resent it. In the workplace, for example, it won't matter if the other person tries managing by walking around, sitting on the edge of the chair to practice active listening, inquiring about family members in order to show interest, or using other skills they may have learned in order to be more effective. What you will know and respond to you is how that person is regarding us when doing those things.”

This is the basis of an unhealthy co-dependency the book appropriately calls “Collusion”, where the two people on each side of the relationship each use each other’s faults to justify or hide their own shortcomings, creating a compounding a cycle of blame that can only dig deeper and deeper until someone breaks the pattern.

So. How do we do that? How do we break the pattern? In chapter 20, the book points out a few approaches that seem reasonable, but don’t work:

1. Trying to change others

2. Doing my best to cope with others

3. Leaving

I found this bit incredible convicting, I’ve literally gone through exactly these steps, in exactly this order in some cases!

So why don’t these steps work?

Remember that when I’m “in the box”, a part of me actually needs the other person to be the very thing I say I don’t want. So trying to change the person or cope with them generally doesn’t work because I can’t have it both ways - my being is divided.

Leaving can work for a while, but if blaming others is really a way to deal with my own shortcomings, I’m certain to fall short again, and will likely fall into the same pattern, just with a new person to blame.

So what does work? How do we get out of the box?

Well, there’s really two layers to it. The first layer is simple: awareness. Once you’re aware of the pattern and the role you’re playing in it, you now have the power to observe it and consciously decide what to do about it - as beautifully put by psychiatrist Carl Jung:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Now, of course developing this self-awareness is not easy - I’m certainly no expert here and there’s a lot to say about it! One book I have found really powerful in this area is “Reboot” by Jerry Cologna. Sometimes it’s easy to see the traps we’re falling into, but other times they can be really really difficult.

The last piece of the puzzle is to just…stop.

Stop resisting this person. I know it sounds scary, I know that it may feel like things will come crumbling down if they have their way.

But trust me, it’s not as bad as you think.

Just stop. Give the other the grace to be a human just like you.

Once do, you will see things differently.

You will be free from the box.

It’s not all sunshine and roses when you’re out, the other may still be a difficult idiot, but you will see them and how they fit into the rest of the organization more clearly.

And most importantly you won’t need them to fail to justify your existence.

Your fates will no longer be linked.

You are free.

~

Stephen Welch

Charlotte, NC

February 2021

Welch Labs Now Offering Computer Vision and Machine Learning Consulting Services

It’s an exciting time to be in machine learning and computer vision. A rapidly advancing state of the art is creating new ways to solve old problems and bringing about entirely new business opportunities.

Along with these new opportunities comes new challenges.

1.    Keeping up with the latest developments is really hard. ~35k new computer science papers published on arxiv in 2018 alone.

2.    Hype/noise can make it difficult to see where the real opportunities are – what’s really feasible and what isn’t? Where is real value being created, and what hot topics will fade away in the coming years?

3.    The tooling is changing rapidly – Tensorflow will be just 4 years old this year, PyTorch will be 3. No one on the planet has more than 5 years of experience in these tools.

What machine learning or computer vision innovations will drive value for your business? How will you go about getting the solutions out of the lab and into production?

Welch Labs is uniquely positioned to help your business tackle these challenges and capitalize on new opportunities. We have deep expertise in modern algorithm design, implementation, testing, and deployment. We work closely with your team to identify the truly impactful innovations for your new and existing business applications; build, test, and deploy solutions, and clearly communicate processes and results.

Have a tough machine learning or computer vision problem? We would love to hear more about it – reach us here.

No New Series (Yet)

Back in April I made the audacious claim that I was going to create a new series, and that it would launch in July. Well, July has come and almost gone, with no new Welch Labs series to show for it.

I've made some good progress, but all the pieces just haven't come together yet.

I couldn't be happier with the topic - waves, applications of complex numbers, and Euler's formula cover an fascinating and impossibly large swath of physics. Thus far I've honed in on a fascinating narrative that I'm thinking the series will turn on: the vibrating string. The vibrating string was at the center of the development of an astounding amount of mathematics, and offers some really beautiful scientific and mathematical mysteries.

A lesson I'm quickly learning about my topic of choice is the huge range of mathematical rigor it covers - literally from elementary to graduate school. For this reason I'm considering breaking up this topic across several short series (ideally 3-5 episodes each) - I'm thinking that series one will require very little mathematical background, series two will require knowledge of pre-calculus and complex numbers, and series three will require calculus. I'm hoping to launch the first series in August or September.

Finally, I'd like to share some of the interesting resources I've come across thus far.

Great Books

A Student's Guide to Waves

Good Books

Rameau and Musical Thought in the Enlightenment (Cambridge Studies in Music Theory and Analysis) 

A Course in Mathematical Methods for Physicists

Origins in Acoustics: The Science of Sound from Antiquity to the Age of Newton

A Source Book in Mathematics, 1200-1800 (Princeton Legacy Library)

The Language of Physics: The Calculus and the Development of Theoretical Physics in Europe, 1750–1914

Imaginary Numbers Are Real [Part 13: Riemann Surfaces]

It took over a year, but the Imaginary Numbers Series is finally complete. By far the most labor intensive parts were part 1 and part 13. When I began the series I had no idea where it would end up. I originally planned on 6 parts, but the deeper I got into imaginary numbers, the cooler things got - and I just couldn't deal with telling an incomplete story. 

I couldn't be happier with where the series ended up - I'm so happy I was able to talk about Riemann Surfaces. I'm sure a mathematician or two will take issue with my presentation (there's a reason Riemann Surface are a graduate level mathematics topic!), but I hope I was able to give a broad audience a taste for these beautiful mathematical structures without oversimplifying the meaning out of things.

I wanted to share a few of the visualizations I used in Part 13. I used the wonderful visualization tool plotly for all 3D graphics. Here are a few visualization from Part 13:

Riemann Surface for \(w=\sqrt{z}\) 

Paths on Riemann Surface. This one's a bit slow, it takes lots of points to make that path!

3D surface plot from opening scene. 

Thanks for watching!

Imaginary Numbers Are Real [Part 12: Riemann's Solution]

In parts 12 and 13, we get to spend some time inside the head of arguably the most important mathematician of the 19th Century - Bernhard Riemann. We're going to begin our next episode by creating a Riemann Surface from our 2 w-planes. This surface will have the wonderful property of making our colored path continuous! While the full theory of Riemann surfaces is far more complex than we can cover here, the baby Riemann Surface we'll create will be sufficient to elegantly visualize our 4 dimensional multifunction, and explain the weird path behavior we saw in back in part 11. You can download a pdf version of the w-planes here.

Your very own w-planes to cutout!